Designing an ex program ..sounds easy..but it is so not easy .

i am so sick , literally from prancing about mi room .

i haf been listening to " from paris to berlin" like 20 times . even my housmate is sick of it.

i am sooo tired..physically..imagine prancing about for 3 hours...how would u feel?!


ARGH!!!

i slp wif the song in mi head too!!

later tonite is PUSH UP ! i tink i wanna throw up at that thot...

yet another issue is ...mi and mi bf..
i tink i am hafing some emotiional struggle . i am obviously very unhappy for the past few days ..in fact for this whole week..seeking solace from everione but mi bf. .y?

i am so scared it will end ...

but i noe ...i will work abit harder at it.

i know i am making him very upset...but i am very upset too..i guess i really hoped he could make mi happy , cheer mi up ,but y doesnt he seem to be able to make mi happy?

all of a sudden, i understood wat joe meant ...
joe:" why the other gals will try to make mi smile when i am down but u cant? "

i see his point now .

sometimes ...i reflect back on wat joe said and all those stuff he hates bout mi ..and i could see his point of view and i haf changed. he will be quite proud of mi if he knew ..how much i changed since dating him .

or mebe it is PMS..let mi see..it is prob two wks away..oke...so mebe not .
mebe cuz i misses mi frens since everione is so busy . and when they are hafing hols ..i will b in clinics agian. damn..

anyway..i really care for pple whom i love and i realli want them to be happy .
mebe i jus need the extra loving ...
mebe i jus some more time ....
mebe i jus need to be patient..
mebe time will tell....

blogging is not helping ..i need coping strategy...

yesh!

back to bouncing wif mi HUGE GREEN BALL which he blew up for mi .

i dun tink i can live wifout him .

i tink i am doomed

i tink i am dumb....

i tink i will not let sometime small get in the way of sometime big